Husband's Should Lead, Not Lord

Leadership has always been a part of Kingdom Order (Structure). God appoints a person to lead for the simple reason of keeping things in order. A leader is appointed in order to carry out the vision and instructions the Lord has given for any particular occasion or appointment and that is why it is important that every leader hears from God and is obedient in executing His will.

The problem with leading is that every leader is held responsible for instructing and leading those in his care. If he fails to implement what God has instructed it is not the person or people that God comes to deal with more so than the person he has appointed to lead.

When we read a passage like 1 Corinthians 11:3, it so clearly outlines the order that God has intended for the family structure:

"But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

Every Husband is a leader in his home. As a leader, the husband must understand the order God established in the home. The husband is responsible to know what God requires of him. He operates from an appointed position that must be answered for… to God!

The problem that many husbands make when hearing the command to lead, is to think it means he is to rule or rather lord over his wife and family. This ideology is not in tune with scripture. In our book, Building An Effective Marriage Team, we refute this notion by making the following point:

"Many men make the grave mistake to think that ruling over their wife is the same as leading. They are not the same. Although the position as head or leader is identified, it is not amplified in the scriptures. The notion that is given more attention is the command to love the wife. As a leader, men are required to “LOVE” and not treat their wife in any aberrant way, which includes harshly, bitterly or abusively. In fact, in treating his wife unjustly impedes a man’s prayers." (1 Peter 3:7)

As leaders, husbands are not given the license to demand anything of their spouse. If nothing else, he is demanded to love her which in scripture is really code for other challenging words like serve, give, sacrifice, honor and respect.

If we are ever to have bona fide Kingdom marriages, it must start with the leader of the home. He must be willing to lead his home under the gentle guidance of love and refute the desire to lord. Just like Christ, husbands must be willing to serve their wife with ceaseless acts of affection and devotion while expecting nothing in return. This level of leading will only manifest love anyway. So the challenge for many husbands is learning to lead according to Kingdom order and letting go of our lordship, which wasn't ours to have in the first place. Why? Because, Jesus is Lord. Let's give back his throne and lead our family's into the Kingdom destiny ordained for them and simply aspire to be the leaders we were appointed to be.

- R. Godfrey Jr.